Shattered and Reclaimed is Kim Tarshia VanMeter’s account of loving her firstborn son, Harrison Kirby VanMeter, and learning to live after his death.

Harrison was a father, a musician known as Carter Hayze, and a son whose curiosity, honesty, and love filled Kim’s life. When he died in 2020, Kim faced questions she could not answer and a grief that changed her relationship with faith, family, and the words she had once written about broken crayons still coloring.

Through memories of Harrison and reflections on motherhood, loss, therapy, and forgiveness, Kim tells the story of finding her voice again. She does not offer a timetable for healing or suggest that purpose makes loss disappear. She writes as a mother who still misses her son, still carries his love, and is still becoming.